Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Confession #5: I Like to Keep Both Feet Firmly Planted in Mid-Air

Yesterday, I threw six pounds of steak into my trash can.

Not because I am purposefully wasteful or particularly picky, but because I spent too long in the Valley of Decision, again. 

The truth is, my least favorite thing to do in life is make a decision of any kind. I much prefer to wait until life's circumstances dictate to me what I have to do. Or, I wait until the absolute last minute so that I can make the decision under pressure, because everybody know procrastinators work best that way. For example, when we go out to a restaurant as a special treat from my in-laws, the waitress will come by once or twice before she actually takes our orders.  Even then, I am usually still sweating out my menu choices. So, I tell her to start taking orders with the person next to me first, and by the time she comes around to me, the last to order, I will have made my decision.  I know that if I feel there is no deadline, I will never make a final decision until you can see my belly button from behind my back.

Back to the beef.

So, the week before Thanksgiving I was busily preparing to have my family over for our celebration on Black Friday, since we go to my in-law's for the actual holiday.  Believe me, I made at least three checklists of all the things I needed to accomplish before we left town Thursday morning. In order to be ready for company on Friday after being out of town until late Thursday night, I have to actually prepare a lot of things ahead of time. (Strange for me, I know, but I learned a big lesson last year...) 

One of the things I realized, obvious as it may seem to other persons, was that my family still needed to eat each day leading up to the big event. I was pretty proud of myself for realizing this consciously, as usually I am so consumed with what I am doing, I tend to forget little details like that. So, I intelligently got two or three things out of the freezer to defrost and use throughout the week leading up to Thanksgiving.

Well, I did manage to feed my family most nights that week, but somehow the beef steak dinner plan was laid aside, and it was left "defrosting" in my refrigerator for...a long time.  My friends who came for Thanksgiving and stayed the weekend commented a couple of times, "Are you going to use that? I think it's going to go bad if you don't use it soon."  Of course I was going to use it. I could marinate it, stir-fry it, cube it and stew it, shish-kabob it, or broil it and slice it with salad...I just needed to figure out what I was in the mood for. In the meantime, there were plenty of leftovers that needed to be eaten.

A week later, my husband asked me again, "Are you going to use that? It's starting to stink up the fridge." Of course I was going to use it. Now that it was unfit for human consumption, wouldn't it be a treat for the dogs if I cut it up into their bowls? Or wrapped their worm pills in it? Or maybe I should just give them each a big, raw slab and watch them gnaw on it...all over my kitchen floor. Maybe not.

Another week went by..."Honey, you really need to deal with that meat or throw it away. It's grossing me out." I got sick. My nose was so stuffy I couldn't smell anything. I figured he must have been exaggerating. I was sure I could still use it for the dogs, if it would just hold on until I felt up to the task.

Yesterday, I finally felt well enough to tackle the mess of leftovers that piled up in the fridge while I was sick. I'm glad I still couldn't smell anything. And I apologized to the flies who died buzzing around my refrigerator.  I didn't even unwrap the steak to check if it was still usable as dog food. I didn't need to. Ew.

I failed to make a decision, which led to inaction, which led to destruction and waste. And an unseen crisis, in this case a bad head cold, stole away my last window of opportunity. By not making a choice, I made a choice. Every time I opened my refrigerator for three weeks, I was invited to take action. That beef was preaching at me, begging me to do something...anything. And every time, I turned away instead.

Like every great preacher, (right up there with smelly steak), the Bible prophet Joel ends his book of prophecy with an invitation to make a decision. Using gripping imagery, he describes the scene of God's judgement on the nations and, in contrast, His blessings on those who have chosen to trust in Him. He leaves the reader to choose which scene they will place themselves in.

Joel 3:12-14
"Let the heathen be wakened, and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat: for there will I sit to judge all the heathen round about. Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe: come, get you down; for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their wickedness is great.
"Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision."

Imagine, a huge valley, filled to the brim with men and women ready to make war against God Himself. Multitudes: crowds upon crowds of people from all over the world, will gather in the last days for this very purpose. Every crowd composed of individual souls. And I wonder: how many of those individuals came to that place of war against God purposely, and how many were just swept along, allowing circumstances to dictate their decisions? By not siding with God, they found themselves going to war against Him.

How many of us today are being swept along toward the day of God's judgement, when we will stand before Him as our personal judge and finally be forced into the ultimate moment of self-revelation? How many of us are leaving our soul's eternal fate in the fridge, so to speak, as we are lost in indecision, both feet firmly planted in mid-air? Don't we realize that by not making a decision, we make this most important decision of all time? 

Every soul who hears the truth about God's plan to redeem mankind by sacrificing His own Son to pay their debt against the law is responsible to act on that knowledge.  Every soul who does not act on that knowledge by being honest enough to admit their innate moral depravity and their need for the forgiveness of the Almighty God of Love and Justice is, by default, deciding against that same God.  Why?

In the weeks that I had perfectly good steak rotting in my fridge, I made decisions every day. I didn't want to get my hands dirty by cutting up raw meat, so I left it alone. It was easier to heat up leftovers than cook a new meal, so I left it alone. It was habit to serve dog food from a bag, so I forgot the beef was available, and I left it alone. Day after day, there was always a reason or excuse as to why that beef went unused. The time my husband spent at work to earn the money to buy that food for his family was forgotten, unappreciated, and ultimately wasted.

In the years of a person's life, our bodies age and decay until the day of our death. Every day we look in the mirror is a reminder of this fact. But it happens so slowly, over time, it is easy to forget. We know we have done things that are wrong, that hurt other people, but we don't want to get our hands dirty and face up to our sin.  So we stuff it in the back of our mind to deal with later.  It seems easier to keep being our own boss and live for ourselves than to surrender our lives to God and live for Him. So we do, even after we start to smell our own selfish stench. We just get used to it. It is our habit to fill our lives with stuff and busy-ness, so we forget that there is a God who longs to give purpose and meaning to it all, to redeem it and make it alive.  So every day we slide closer to eternity, thinking that 'someday' we will deal with our spiritual problems.  We settle for leftovers and kibble, and an entire life goes to waste, until one day, we find it is too late.

(vs. 15-16a) "The sun and the moon shall be darkened, and the stars shall withdraw their shining. The Lord also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake:..."

It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to find yourself under the wrath of God today or in eternity.  You don't have to hide and avoid Him because you are ashamed of what's lurking behind the salad spinner. The truth is, He already knows it's there. The stench has reached all the way to heaven, and He is waiting with soapy sponge in hand to help you clean up the mess. He is offering the hand of friendship to you now. The Bible truth is, you are either His enemy, or you are His.

(vs. 16b-18) "...but the Lord will be the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel. So shall ye know that I am the Lord your God dwelling in Zion, my holy mountain: then shall Jerusalem be holy, and there shall no strangers pass through her any more."

Make a decision today. Decide that this is the day you stop allowing life to sweep you along toward the deadline: the day God asks you why you wasted your life, your eternal soul, the one He sacrificed His own Son to buy back from death. Become one of His people. Put your trust in His way of dealing with your sin, guilt, and shame. Stop stuffing it to the back of the fridge. Bring it out into the light, get your hands dirty, and let Him wash you clean in a way you've never known before. Exchange your old habits for new.  Begin to go to Him for the strength you need to make those everyday decisions between what is right and what you want to do in the moment because it seems easier.

Let Him take your decaying soul and breathe new life into it, and make it into something delicious: something to savor and enjoy. Let a new flavor burst out in your life!

(vs. 18) "And it shall come to pass in that day, that the mountains shall drop down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with waters, and a fountain shall come forth of the house of the Lord, and shall water the valley of Shittim."

Recently, my husband took me on a date to a local steakhouse. As I sliced into the tender, juicy beef I ordered after much heart-pounding deliberation, I wasn't sure if it was the best decision I could have made from the menu options available.  But when I put that first bite of perfectly prepared, seasoned, juicy steak into my mouth, it tasted like a contented sigh. I literally closed my eyes and 'mmmed' with pleasure. I felt deep down that this was so right, so worth the struggle with making a decision.

 I thought, "I want to be able to cook like that. I want my family to feel this happy when they bite into a meal that I've prepared for them."  My very first instinct was to share the joy that I was experiencing.

And so, I am.

"O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." (Psalm 34:8)

Please, make a decision today--right now. Pray this prayer with me. There is no reason to wait.

Dear God,
Thank You that one day You will judge every soul that ever walked this earth, and that You will do so with perfect justice. Thank You that the evil things that seem to have gone unpunished in this life will be dealt with, and that those who have suffered will see Your justice done. Please forgive me for the things I have done that have broken Your laws. I know that I deserve Your judgement.
I have hurt other people, even the ones I love. I have lied, and that makes me a liar. I have used Your Name as a cussword, and that makes me a blasphemer. In my heart, I have dreamed of committing sins that I am ashamed to say out loud. I realize now that I do not have the power to take my own wicked heart and make it truly pure.
I believe that You sent Your Son to earth, and that He lived a perfect, sinless life. I believe He died on the cross because my sin deserved that kind of punishment, and there was nothing I could do to pay that price by myself.  I believe that when Jesus rose from the grave, it was a promise that I don't have to die if I don't want to, because He already died for me. 
Today, I make a decision. Today, I choose to acknowledge my sin instead of hiding and secretly holding onto it.  Please make me clean, pure and new on the inside.
When the day of judgement comes to me, I will not use my own goodness as my defense, but the fact that today, I chose to believe in Your Son, Jesus Christ. And that at this moment, you legally transferred my punishment to Him, and let me walk out of the courtroom a free person, even though I did nothing to deserve it.
Please forgive me, Lord, for taking so long to make this decision. Please help me not to waste another day of this life You have given me. And please give me the courage to share the joy I've found with others who need to know.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

If you have prayed this prayer, or one like it, here is what Joel says:

(vs. 19-21) "Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom a desolate wilderness, because of the violence against the people of Judah, for they have shed innocent blood on their land.
But Judah shall abide forever, and Jerusalem from generation to generation.
For I will acquit them of the guilt of bloodshed, whom I had not acquitted; for the Lord dwells in Zion."

You are acquitted of your sins, and you will live forever from the moment you chose to believe!

But be warned: if you read this and chose not to choose, your sins are not forgiven, and desolation will come. Your decaying body is crying out to you: get your feet out of mid-air, and plant them firmly on the foundation of Jesus Christ. And do it today. Tomorrow is not promised.